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Heavenly

 

a play in one act

by

Lee Strauss

 

 

 Cast of Characters

A  (a man or woman)

B  (a man or woman)

 

 

Synopsis

A Heavenly encounter.

 

 

Act I, Scene One

 

The lights come up on a Heavenly setting – nothing gaudy, but soft and companionable. No one is perched upon a cloud, etc. At first look, the stage is empty. But in a moment there is a quick blackout, after which the lights come up on A, standing somewhat below and to the left of center stage, staring wonderingly out over the audience. Another quick blackout, and the lights come up on B, standing nearby, and to the right of A, also looking out over the audience with an expression of awe, but glancing about a bit in curiosity as well. Both are dressed neatly, but unremarkably, and neither is particularly young nor old. Either or both can be male or female.

 

A: (Filled with awe, and as if listening to glorious, if unheard, music) This needs definition.

B: Why?

A: (Pointedly looking out over the heads of the audience) Can't you hear it? They're crying out for definition. Nothing else will do.

B: (Placating) Oh, I think it's all right.

A: Without definition?

B: Without definition.

A: (With relief) Well… thank God.

B: Yes.

A: It's nice here.

B: Yes.

A: Not at all what they said.

B: It would be a fine joke on some people, wouldn't it?

A: (Not quite sure what B means, but feeling too blissful to be worried about it) I suppose.

B: If they knew…

A: Oh, you mean…

B: Yes. If they really knew…

A: (Rather awfully) Before…

B: Yes. Before.

A: I can't get over it. Not at all like anything…

B: Yes.

A: But…

B: Yes?

A: At the same time, it was there, too…

B: You don't have to…

A: No, I mean, down there… it was there, too, all the time, really.

B: Of course it was.

A: Sort of… peeking through the cracks.

B: Exactly.

 

Pause

 

A: And where are the angels?

B: Angels?

A: Well, I sort of expected there to be angels. Didn't you?

B: I don't know. I'll admit I hadn't thought of it until you mentioned it.

A: Well, it certainly isn't necessary, but it would be nice. Beautiful angels.

B: (Nodding absently) Sure.

A: Sweet music. Harps and things. A brilliant chorus.

B: I'm not sure.

A: Eh… oh, I see.

B: Yes. You were right. It just isn't necessary.

A: Wow! Do you think we made that up?

B: Oh, I don't know. Does it matter?

A: Boy, you sure start seeing things differently up here.

B: I know.

A: It's great, isn't it?

B: A few things still bother me, though.

A: Oh, I know. Why is it just you and me. Why…

B: No, that doesn't bother me. That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter anymore how many people there are (smiling, visibly relieved).

A: You mean, it could be two, it could be a million.

B: Oh, I don't know, but two is fine. Surely you feel that, don't you?

A: Of course.

B: No hunger. No thirst. No crowded avenues. No, two is fine.

A: Or two million.

B: Sure.

A: God, it's terrific.

B: Still, there's trouble.

A: Trouble?

B: I can't get it out of my mind that so much happened before.

A: Oh. I see. Yes.

B: Why was all that…

A: Yes.

B: Why did all that…

A: Happen at all?

B: Yes.

A: Hmm… yes. I think I see what you mean.

B: Do you?

A: I think so.

B: Because it matters.

A: Yes. That does matter.

B: What?

A: That…

B: That you know what I mean?

A: Or that something…uh… else… happened before?

B: Both. The fact that something else did go on before would seem to matter, and…

A: Yes?…

B: So would everything connected to it.

A: Yes.

B: I think. (Pause)  So it would seem.

A: Yes. I see. (Pause) I think I see. But it seems a shame.

B: No. In fact, I'll bet it has something to do with why we're here.

A: I don't think so. I don't think…

B: Of course it does.

A: Please don't…

B: Listen…

A: Stop!

B: (Understanding) You're afraid.

A: Yes. That you'll ruin it… somehow.

B: It can't be ruined. It can not be ruined. I know it. You know it. You can feel it.

A: (Unsure) I don't know. (Looking around nervously) I'm pretty new here.

B: It doesn't matter. You know it doesn't matter. It's a job, that's all. To make sense of what happened. It can only make us happy.

A: I don't want to be happy. I am happy.

B: All right.

A: You mean, you're going to leave it alone?

B: I don't know.

A: You're thinking.

B: So, what if I am?

A: You're going to ruin everything.

B: You're interrupting my train of thought. (He sits down, yoga-style.)  Might as well get comfortable. We're going to be here for a while.

A: I hope.

B: Why don't you relax? Don't forget, you're happy.

A: (In sudden realization) I am happy. (He smiles)

B: So do what you want.

A: Yes. (Frowns) Hmm…

B: You see?… The past just naturally comes up.

A: (A bit ruefully) So it seems.

B: It's all right.

A: It does seem to intrude.

B: (Lightly) It comes to the mind quite naturally.

A: (A bit impatiently) Well, I don't think there was any reason. It all looks like nonsense to me now.

B: Yes. I feel that too. But there must be another way of looking at it.

A: I can't imagine any.

B: (As though suddenly possessed) You want to put your money where your mouth is?!

A: (Startled) What?

B: (Seriously) Did I say that?

A: If not, who did?

B: I don't know. I… (again, blurting)… hypocrisy!

A: What?

B: (Repeating, more meaningful) Hypocrisy. People are hypocrites.

A: Are you all right? You're acting very strangely.

B: (Adamantly, enthusiastically now, as if solidly having got hold of the idea) People are hypocrites. They don't believe what they are saying.

A: So what? Who cares? (Aside) What's new?

B: Well, isn't this place here to help them believe? So…

A: Who cares? The question is, or was, I thought, about that place, not this place. Uh… (suddenly tired, he, too, sits.)

 

(Pause)

 

B: I'm working on it.

A: (Eyeing B) So who said that?

B: What?

A: The bit about the money and the mouth?

B: I did.

A: You said you didn't.

B: I… well, it didn't feel like me… but I guess I must of…

A: You're weirder than I thought.

B: Thanks.

A: Don't mention it.

B: I'll tell you what. I think I've got it figured out.

A: Already?

B: Yep.

A.: That's a relief.

B: (Aside) I'm not so sure. (To A) You're not going to like it.

A: Great.

B: People are fools.

A: (A bit exasperated) You keep telling me things I don't understand or already know.

B: Wait. People are fools and they think they know everything and they are just waiting to get in here.

A: So?

B: So, they don't pay any attention to each other because they are too busy concentrating on this place…

A: I'm not so…

B: …which doesn't exist.

A: Whattaya mean, it doesn't exist?

B: It doesn't exist.

A: We're here, aren't we? We exist.

B: We don't.

A: (Sarcastically) We don't. (Straightforwardly) We do. Look. Here's you and here's me.

B: If we existed how could we be here?

A: If we… well… what do you mean?

B: (Calmly) If we existed, how can we be here?… Down there, at least we existed.

A: (Shaking his head) I'm not following this.

B: If we can exist down there, we can't exist up here, can we?

A: But…

B: And if we can't exist up here, we don't.

A: (Resignedly, giving up trying to follow) Sure.

B: Perfect logic.

A: But if we don't exist up here, where are we?

B: Does it matter?

A: (With a ring of sincerity) I guess not.

B: So…

A: What's the point?

B: The point is… (suddenly blurting) catch as catch can!

A: (Knowingly) There you go again.

B: (Nodding) Whew!

A: (Brightening suddenly) Well, I suppose I should have expected it.

 

B looks at A a bit dumbly.

 

A: The errant flash of inspiration. I mean, after all… (He waves his arm around to indicate where they are)

B: (In apparent agreement, though a bit distracted) Oh.

A: Sure. It's great. (Suddenly concerned) Does it hurt?

B: (Still a bit dazed) What?

A: When it happens? "Catch as catch can"? "Money where your mouth is"?

B: (Having entirely forgotten) When what happens?

A: (Suddenly seeing) Oh. Never mind… so, you said… (thinking to remember A's exact words)… "The point is… catch as catch can."

B: (Enthusiastically, not missing a beat) Yes, people want to run everything, except themselves. Everybody's catching, but nobody's pitching… get it?

A: Yes, I am starting to get it, actually. (Looking a bit amazed) It's great.

B: (Continuing) So nobody really wants to go anywhere but here, everybody has a different notion of what here is, and, all the while, it doesn't even exist. 

A: Oh, now we're back to that sticky point.

B: It's not a sticky point. It's true.

A: (Suddenly, vaguely blissful, as though hearing distant music) Yes.

B: (Softly, calmly self-satisfied) So…

A: (More sharply, if didactically, as if suddenly waking up out of a trance) But you still haven't solved it, you know.

B: (Sighing) I know. (Hopefully) Getting there, though.

A: Yes.

B: You feel that?

A: Yes.

B: (Blurting) Hefalumps!

A: Huh?

B: Hefa… (blinking and shaking his head) Did I say something?

A: (Sighing and staring straight ahead) Hefalumps. Now that certainly means something.

B: (Quizzically) Hefalumps?

A: (In a recitative tone, almost oracularly) People usually won't do anything until someone else has done it.

B: People usually won't say anything…

A: … until someone else has said it.

B: People are funny.

A: (After a slight pause) It's getting warm.

 

B is lost in thought.

 

A: (Fingering his collar) I'm beginning to wonder.

B: What?

A: What would happen if we did figure it out.

B: Figure what out?

A: Why.

B: (Comprehending, but distractedly) Oh, yes.

A: I mean, even if we do, does it change anything?

B: I don't know. For us, maybe.

A: For us?

B: Yes. Maybe it makes us happier (hastily) in that we have something to do. Things make sense, you can work with them.

A: Hmm… sounds a little too much like down there.

B: Maybe. I don't know. We'll figure it out.

A: Why don't we go back down there and take a look?

B: What? Out of the question!

A: Well, maybe a fresh look might help. After all, we've been up here now. We might figure it out right away and could come right back. It could save time.

B: I think you may have missed the point. We aren't here. That's the point. It's what allows us…

A: … to be here.

B: Right.

A: Sorry.

B: No need. It's just your good intentions getting the best of you.

A: So what do we do?

B: Nothing.

A: (Staring down in front of him, then glancing around) Seems a bit lonely.

B: Yes, that's the problem.

A: I don't like this.

B: No. That's our incentive. (Somberly) The chill.

A: (With respect verging on awe) The penumbra.

B: Yes.

A: I don't like it at all.

B: No.

A: Not one bit.

 

Fade to black.

 

 

 

 

 

Lee Strauss (Copyright @ 2019)